viernes, enero 22, 2010

¿The British Invasion? Or the NWOBHM (New Wave of British Horrible Maletas)? We don´t know yet...

Everbody knows that the Colombian Football is the best of the world. OK, we are joking: actually, the FPC is a big pile of shit. But sometimes we can hear some funny and bizarre news, which make us think in a lot of eggness (perdón, no supimos cómo traducir "huevonadas"). Let´s read them:
Quindío is looking for the Iván Trujillo´s replacement
The people in Armenia is astonished: apparently the 2010 galactic recruitment for the "Miracolous" team will be a british player, some guy called Reis Stanislaus! This 20 years old forward has reported previous experience with Fulham, Woking (¿Ah?) and Maidenhead (¿Eh?), but our Investigative Department has only found this article (see the 2009 squad list) as a real proof of his years played in the british football. Let´s be nice (?): if a player arrived from the 6th level of the english football has success in Colombia, this means that our football is completely fucked up. As, for example, if a 45 years old retired forward returns to the official competition and scores a goal...Unbelievable!
Mr Stanislaus said to the Cuyabro press: "I need to call my embassy! Please help me: some local mafia man so-called Wilman Conde is retaining my passport! Help me!", which was translated to the local media as "Este es un lugar maravilloso. Estoy feliz, es un país muy lindo y me gustaría que muchos extranjeros vinieran tranquilos a visitar a Colombia, ya que acá no pasa nada de lo que dicen en otras países".
But let´s take a look to the new area killer of the Cuyabro team:

"I am a badass motherfucker" (?)
Mmmm... if you see the picture you probably will think like us: that this guy actually comes from Buenaventura or Tumaco: someone wants to introduce a cat instead a rabbit! In the LMDF newsroom everybody think that his real name is Rey Estanislao Mosquera, from Turbo, who studied english in the some pirate Language Academy of Medellín, trying to suck rooster. Only the time will tell...
Equidad Insurance: towards a global expansion megaplan
Meanwhile, in the city of the broken dreams (?), the only serious and competitive club of the village is testing another british forward. Initially the press speculated with the rumour that two english players called Sherman and Darwin have arrived to the team. But soon it was known that they really were Sherman Cárdenas and Darwin Andrade. Later, however, the presence of a white and blond player (according to this link) generated the curiosity of the media, who found out that this forward is called Andy Brown, british player who are currently studying Spanish Language in the Universidad Nacional. We think that in this time, Mr Brown has enriched his spanish lexicon with sentences as "¡Pásela, pásela!", "¡Soltala mono, soltala!", "¡Esssssso, essssssssso, aquí, papá!" and "¡Ahhh, gringo, cómo te comes eso!".
Mr Brown was playing in the Universidad Nacional football team, where he was widely known because his many conquests in the area. In the Bars and Disco area around the University, really.
According to the information of the link, "Alexis Garcia is watching him very carefully since two weeks ago". We don´t want to be gossip, but this is too much time to watch a player! Probably Mr Garcia is passing to the other team? Only the time will tell...(?)

31 comentarios:

  1. Hey r Ysec.. please don't be a man-whore(?)... I'm still dreaming with the day that i can see Steven Gerrard wearing the AMÉRICA DE CALI's shirt.. (???)

    And yeah.. you're right... to the present day the only way to see that is on the "Pro Evolution Soccer"

  2. juaaaaaaaaaasss

    Thank you sir YSEC!!!

    The British army is here!!!

  3. Great Post Mr Ysec, "actually, the FPC is a big pile of shit", jajajaja That´s TRUE but too funny!!!

  4. ysec puto...los que no somos bilingues entonces que? amargo!

  5. This black seems commercials "Social Action of the presidency of the republic calls all claiming to be victims of ..." (?)

  6. jajajajaja...come on master! you get off the ball of the stadium(?)....

  7. JAjajaja!

    "trying to suck rooster". Jajajajaj! Fucking brilliant Master IATC.

  8. Does Alexis' canoe wets?


    Rey Estanislao Mosquera

    El misterio se ha revelado(?)

  10. wow master... this kind of posts, written on english language, has brought SPAM also on english.. but i'm worried.. this Spam is allusive to the Emos (!!!!!!) WTF?

  11. Frankly, this is just yet another proof of the globalization... footballers with low to no skills at all are not a monopoly of a few anymore.

  12. John Alejandro1/26/2010 5:34 a.m.

    Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Que gran entrada don YSEC; la mejor parte la traduccion a la prensa cuyabra de las declaraciones del ingles de Turbo.......

  13. Thank you very much for your comments (except for the Puto Anonimo and his Emo Hairstyles).

    I shit myself of the laughing (?) with your comments too.

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